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ladytauriel) wrote2014-03-18 10:11 pm
Fic: Starlit Spirits - Chapter 5
Tauriel recognised the stations announced over the intercom of the subway train, as it raced to the jingling sound of Christmas decorations layered with bells. Standing, she held on to the top railing, smiling at Kíli, who only reached the bottom one. Her eyes met his, and he looked away with an embarrassed huff, after shifting the bag on his shoulder.
Tauriel barely tried conceal her amused smile, having given away her excitement in the café. She couldn't make the decision of whether it was luck or misfortune that brought this starstruck man into her company.
She wasn't surprised when they exited the subway train at the station "Mirkwood". It paved the way for a several blocks of flats, as well as both grandiose and simple cottages. Her flat was in the building just near the latter, and she was able to see Mirkwood, the actual forest, from her balcony. Mirkwood, full of sparse trees, plains, streams, ponds, and hills, extended in a half-circle, which ended on a rise, on which Mirkwood Manor stood. It was several miles wide, but a local bus found several paths for a trip across it. During the Middle Ages in the Netherlands, Lord Thranduil's ancestors had ruled the village that stretched around it. Now, the local lord resided in his palace in the center of the open moors, a king under the sky, with only his son, his investment in wine collecting, and the comforts of his enormous libraries keeping him in the welcome of the evening stars above.
Mirkwood was where she boarded at half till seven, just before coming to skate. Thinking this, she realised that she in fact not had an opportunity that night to do more than stand on her skates and look on at a professional figure skater in shock. As if sensing her thoughts, a little dismayed, Kíli turned to her sheepishly.
"It's my fault that you didn't get a chance to skate today," he told her, "and so I decided to make it up to you. Would you like to skate with me at one of the frozen ponds?"
Tauriel nodded, smiling nostalgically. As she a child, and even right before her parents died, they went out to the Mirkwood ponds as a family. Her father would shoot arrows through leaves to make them flutter around in the winter breeze, while her mother would skate confidently along the paths of thick ice, covering the frozen water. The forest enwrapped all of her happy memories into a gentle grasp, and she trusted it to hold on to them in the many future seasons to come.
They exited underground transportation together, and Tauriel walked with Kíli through the city and to the edge of the wood. There, he took a narrow path, on which Tauriel herself had never before ventured. They walked over slopes and through thick blankets of branches, Kíli always holding them over Tauriel's head, as she walked behind them. She sensed the falling temperature, as the clock neared nine in the evening, but Kíli's body radiated like a furnace. Tauriel resisted the urge to press him to her side or grab his gentle hand. She did not know what was acceptable between them, and crossing boundaries was never her goal.
Finally, the two arrived at a large open expanse in the middle of the woods. It was almost a lake, frozen over completely, and the light of the stars in the clear sky bounced off of the ice in beautiful and breathtaking arrays of dancing light. After both putting on their skates, they made it to the middle of the lake.
As Tauriel watched Kíli's upturned face, observing the night sky with what looked like respect and longing, she noticed him twirling something in his hand. He tossed it, and she recognised it to be a small stone of sorts. It peeked her curiosity.
"The stone in your hand..." she began. "What is it?"
"It is a talisman," Kíli responded gravely. "Many eras ago, it was said that a powerful spell has upon it. If any but a king from the line of Durin, or my family tree of old, read the runes on the stone, it will be forever cursed." He jumped towards Tauriel at this moment, his movement making her flinch and almost causing her to fall back onto the ice. Kíli immediately caught one of her arms. "Or not," he continued, "depending on whether you believe in that kind of thing. It's just a token. A runestone. My mother gave it to me so that I'd remember my promise."
"What promise?" Tauriel asked.
"That I would always listen to my heart instead of the crowd. She wanted me to follow my dreams but only to fulfill my own desires and no one else's. She worried about me, too, like you. She thought I was reckless."
"Are you?" Tauriel asked, knowing the answer. Of course he was.
"Ah," came Kíli's sigh. "Sometimes I am reckless for the sake of remembering her kindness, which radiated even through her most angry scolding."
Tauriel realised, looking up at the stars with Kíli now, that his eyes also held anger that she had not previously seen. He still felt frustration with the events, whatever they were, that led to his mother's passing. Did he see his mother in the stars and wonder why they stole away all of her love from her son, only to bring it to the useless heavens?
Suddenly, Tauriel noticed the gleam of a certain star in the distant night sky, and it's flare miraculously bounced off of the ice, radiating colours that resembled the Northern Lights. More joined in, and the sky became full of almost mobile celestial orbits, the speed of light suddenly varying, against the laws of the Universe, to paint the beautiful sight before her. She knew it was a silly thought, since the Netherlands were not far enough north for and aurora to be visible, but she almost imagined that the sky was dancing right before her very eyes, inviting her to join them.
"Sounds like quite a party they're having up there," Kíli said, referring to the shimmering of the orbs above.
"It is Mereth Nuin Giliath, the Feast of Starlight," Tauriel responded, happy to share her own knowledge on Scandinavian mythology. "Almost an aurora, but without the northern gleam of cold colours. In the ancient Norse myths, all light was sacred to the elves, but wood elves loved best the light of the stars."
"I always thought it was a cold light," Kíli answered with a sad smile. "Remote and far away."
Tauriel now knew to understand Kíli's sadness, but she could not help but feel taken aback. "It is memory," she explained. "Precious and pure." After a paused, she smiled and said, "Like your promise."
More than anything, Tauriel wanted to take Kíli's hand and guide it to the starlight, to help him absorb its memories and keep them dear in his heart, instead of pushing them away with frustration and desperation. However, she did not know what words could be used to convey her own understanding, her own pain that she suffered after the car accident that took away her parents. How she had angrily blamed it for preserving the happy memories that she wanted to steal away and throw into the fire. Why must they be here to taunt me? she had thought. She had to take herself back to the paths of Mirkwood, to teach herself to accept the raw life that thrived between it and her, to thank it for keeping her childhood cocooned in its quiet grasps, and to feel like the daughter of the forest again.
She skated forward, out to the brightest patch of light. "I have walked there sometimes," she said, gesturing forward. "Beyond the forest and out into the night. I have seen the world fall away and the white light forever fill the air." She paused. "It is possible to find comfort in it, even amidst the nostalgia of our pasts."
Kíli approached her, taking her hands and spinning her around to face him. "Skate with me," he told her.
He slid backwards across the ice, accelerating at every moment, pulling Tauriel behind him. She laughed, realising that she was only dead weight to him, but his genuine and captivating smile shook all thoughts of it from her head. Sometimes, he let go of her, to accelerate even more and prep into a flying twist into the air. Sometimes, he broke out into a dance, sliding this way and that, wordlessly attempting to make Tauriel follow. She would to a stop, as he would continue to twist in a spin like a menacing hurricane. When he butterfly kicked, his head lifted to her, and for a few seconds, she caught his expression of pure joy.
He did so restlessly, and Tauriel lost track of time. It might have been an hour or two, but she would have believed it if the sun would begin to rise over the east side of Mirkwood. Time stood still, and the marks of Kíli's skates around the lake thread around her to keep her locked in their forever.
Finally, he came to a stop near her, out of breath, and said, "I saw the Northern Lights there once. They danced across the expanse of the night sky, huge. Green, blue, purple they were, and filled the sky. My friends that were there with me at Mirkwood Manor the yesterday were accompanying me to the 2008 World Championships, in Gothenburg, Sweden. I did not qualify for competing that year, as I was only fourteen, but I would have the opportunity the following year to go to Los Angeles, which I did. We went sightseeing while we were there that spring. After training all day one weekend, I was bored out of my mind, so I pulled convinced my brother, Fíli, and the rest of the Company, to come with me to Abisko National Park, where the aurora is most prevalent from early September to late March. We flew there and secretly spent the whole night at the Aurora Sky Station in wait."
Tauriel listened, enamoured with the story of an adventure that she never could have taken herself. She was jealous that she could never bring herself to take risks, to leave the comforts of home behind. Kíli was a starlit spirit with a drive and the opportunity of filling his heart with the different beauties of the world, never regretting or looking back.
"Tauriel Lilly," Kíli began seriously, looking her straight in the eye, "I wish I could tell you about all of my adventures, be they related to figure skating or my inability to remain in a passive situation in my life. I wish I could spend hours into the night telling you about how the light of the moon and stars thrust your freckles into the gleam of the night, or how your visible love for the forest, all of Mirkwood, and your home shows a beautiful loyalty. But I cannot. I have... responsibilities, due dates, trainings, and a completely different life. A vast sea separates you from me."
Tauriel knew the difficulty with which Kíli was saying these words, and she would never be able to find anger within herself to blame the man standing before her. He was almost crest of performance as an athlete, and even if he only followed his heart, it led him to a different world than hers. She knew that she would do anything to prevent her from keeping him away from his dream.
She edged closer to Kíli, lowered her face to his, and kissed his cheek. She could feel the rigidness of his shoulders fall away and a visibly held breath escape him. She could feel the dolefulness through his touch, as he gently wrapped one arm around her shoulder and let it trail to the small of her back.
"Good luck, Kíli Durinson," Tauriel whispered as she pulled away. "I'll be watching."
With a sigh, he turned around and skated away from her, into darkness. Her eyes followed him, until he blended with the shadows that chased her in her dreams at night.